The Penguins are GAY

Just one week ago I heard a rumor that there were gay penguins that currently reside in the central park zoo. So I did a little research on this fabulous little bit of trivia and found a NEW YORK TIMES article that confirmed this as fact.

Central Park Zoo's gay penguins ignite debate Dinitia Smith, New York Times Saturday, February 7, 2004 New York -- Roy and Silo, two chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo in Manhattan, are completely devoted to each other. For nearly six years now, they have been inseparable. They exhibit what in penguin parlance is called "ecstatic behavior": That is, they entwine their necks, they vocalize to each other, they have sex. Silo and Roy are, to anthropomorphize a bit, gay penguins. When offered female companionship, they have adamantly refused it. And the females aren't interested in them, either. . . .

So last Monday (September 19, 2005) when I get the invitation to attend a late-night party in the Central Park Zoo with bar and food fully sponsored by Finlandia Vodka and exclusive VIP seating in the Penguin House, I knew I had to go and have a drink with my arctic, tuxedo-feathered sisters.

The party also touted dancers and drummers from Broadway's THE LION KING.. so it just sounded too fabulous for words.

I got on the phone and started calling friends.. Natalie Hill cancelled some plans to be the first to join my posse. She was later joined by the tall, statuesque, Ogilvy PR maven Havilah Clark, her handsome and charming Ecuadorian, drummer boyfriend Chris Farr, former HX Magazine art director Troy Dunham, current HX Magazine photographer Jeff Eason and Rhythm in Motion partner, Midwood HS Dean and one of my favorite gumbas, Matt Bonavita.

Well the party did not disappoint. Stunning people everywhere and what an experience to be dancing and having a blast and then looking over your shoulder and seals are swimming and splashing in a pool smack in the middle of the crowd.

Natalie and I made it through bouncer madness and entered the VIP area. I then made a bee-line for the penguin house ready to have a gay National Geographic experience. But not only did I not see any hot, gay man on man penguin action.. but the penguin house needed an air freshener. The penguins were all standing at attention, as if waiting for someone to call a meeting to order.. even without moving they were pretty hysterical.

Though the gay penguins never made themselves known, I did however, through the process of elimination, figure out who the gay penguins WEREN'T. Some of those birds had feathers all askew and a couple looked like they had shat on themselves.. and there is no way in the world a gay penguin would ever have let themselves go like that, especially when they were on display to the public.

So I had to leave the party thinking to myself "What kind of world is this that even a couple of gay penguins are being forced back into the closet." But on a positive note, I took home a huge purple Finlandia pillow that now resides on my bed next to my two yellow, kushy Bacardi Limon pillows I stole from another party. Yes I happen to love swag.. and I don't care what the brand is if I can snuggle with it.

And God bless the gay foul everywhere (you know who you are).